Am I getting old?

It's official. I'm an old man. At the age of 24 I have crossed the threshold into geriatrics. True, physically, I am not an elderly citizen yet, but mentally and emotionally.

This realization came to me as I was driving to work today and somebody cut me off. I responded with an angry fist-waving. Normally, in my youth, a middle finger or a raised hand of some sort would have sufficed. Not today though. As I tooled to work in my Volvo listening to Morning edition on NPR minding my space, I shook my fist. Then, with hands at ten and two, I continued on to work, complaining about the damn people these days and their lack of decency.

It's not just driving that gets me. I don't know how many times in the past year I have uttered the phrase, "No one ever shows any respect anymore." Be it at the counter of the grocery store, standing in line for a movie or at work, this phrase should never be uttered by someone younger than 63 years of age. It's true though, no one has any sense of common decency nowadays. It's all about "me me me me" wherever you go. The really sad part is, most of these people really shouldn't have very high opinions of themselves. They're the losers in society. They have no social skills. They are rude, selfish and unconcerned completely for their fellow man. Damn I'm old...

The fact that all I listen to all day at work is talk radio, is proof in itself that I might be gettin' on in years. Ok, so sometimes I'll pop in Thelonious Monk or Billie Holiday, but that does not help my case, does it? I have a hard time even naming what young people listen to nowadays. Other than the great music I used to get from my still young friends back in Iowa City that is. Most of the new stuff I hear in clubs sounds like garbage and is too loud... "Too loud" is another phrase left to old men. "Turn down that racket!" Seriously gettin' old here people.

My idea of a rompin' stompin' good time? At home, in my chair in front of the fireplace, reading a good book, listening to classical music and sipping either a glass of wine or a glass of fine scotch. Note: this is a Saturday night game plan, not a Tuesday. What kind of book am I reading? A history book. Not the newest thriller on the shelves. A book detailing the crimes of the US in Guatemala. Or better yet, the book about the history of the banana. Bananas. Ba-na-na. Come on. Do I watch television? Hell no! That's for young people, with their MTV and VH1. I would much rather curl up and watch an episode of M*A*S*H. I prefer Perry Mason to CSI, seriously, check PM out.

And to top it all off. Guess where my girlfriend and I went for dinner the other night? Baker's Square. It was a Saturday night. Actually, more like, five in the afternoon. I think we made it in time for the early bird special... good lord...

So, I think I am going to listen to some Ratatat, drive fast, drink shitty light beer at some crowded, overly loud bar, wake up at two in the afternoon and try to recapture my youth.