Zombies kick serious ass right? So, one of my coworkers and myself have been thinking about what to do if a zombie apocalypse occurred here in downtown Des Moines.
The building we are located in at first seems a bit unreliable. The bottom floor is basically lined with windows that could easily be shattered by mindless hordes. Unless of course the zombies turn out to be really weak sauce like in Dawn of the Dead, where they couldn't break in through the giant glass doors at the front of the mall. This building probably isn't as well constructed, based on what I have figured out about it so far (including when the keypad to the restroom fell off, that was an awkward day.) Anyway, we figure the zombies could at least get into the first floor.
Then what?
We looked around for weapons. Failed miserably at this also. I don't think a wireless keyboard would do enough damage to take down a zommer. Nor would a coffee mug with a sun on it. The coffee might hurt them, I know damn well it hurts me every day. So, we decided we would be defenseless, unless we could figure out how to throw computer monitors...
Worst situation imaginable yes? No.
Upon review, I found many positives about this building. It's the diversity of businesses that helps our case. We have a restaurant next door, I can actually see into it from where I am at. So I was thinking- food supply. While this wouldn't provide us with much food, it would be enough to stave off starvation for a while. Plus, I bet they have all kinds of utensils in the kitchen that could be used to lop off heads. That would be my first stop.
Down the hall is the elevator to the second floor, seriously, just two floors but still an elevator. This has a plus. If we hole up on the second floor, we could send out explorers and the elevator would serve us well. While the people in the elevator might get hosed, it would be simpler to prevent zombie expansion. Only so many zombies can fit in it, so only so many could possibly come back up with it. Yeah?
The best part, upstairs is a freakin doctor's office. Granted, they are otolaryngologists, but they gotta have more than just a first aid kit. So, we could hang out upstairs, eating pasta, using medical supplies to heal any damage, and use the elevator for excursions. The basics are down. This place is more secure than I thought. The best part is this though...
We are right across the street from the capital. I imagine this would be one of the first places the National Guard was sent to secure, so we wouldn't even have to hole up for long. If the Nat'l Guard could deal with zombies that is.
Alright, so my job sucks and we do a lot to avoid depression from boredom. But hey, planning for a zombie apocalypse is one of the most interesting things one can do. It doesn't take much and it allows you to be creative. I suggest everyone try it, especially if you hate your job as much as I do. It's also a little more lighthearted than some of the crap I worry about, like Roma children being slowly killed by lead poisoning in Kosovo, or the like.
The building we are located in at first seems a bit unreliable. The bottom floor is basically lined with windows that could easily be shattered by mindless hordes. Unless of course the zombies turn out to be really weak sauce like in Dawn of the Dead, where they couldn't break in through the giant glass doors at the front of the mall. This building probably isn't as well constructed, based on what I have figured out about it so far (including when the keypad to the restroom fell off, that was an awkward day.) Anyway, we figure the zombies could at least get into the first floor.
Then what?
We looked around for weapons. Failed miserably at this also. I don't think a wireless keyboard would do enough damage to take down a zommer. Nor would a coffee mug with a sun on it. The coffee might hurt them, I know damn well it hurts me every day. So, we decided we would be defenseless, unless we could figure out how to throw computer monitors...
Worst situation imaginable yes? No.
Upon review, I found many positives about this building. It's the diversity of businesses that helps our case. We have a restaurant next door, I can actually see into it from where I am at. So I was thinking- food supply. While this wouldn't provide us with much food, it would be enough to stave off starvation for a while. Plus, I bet they have all kinds of utensils in the kitchen that could be used to lop off heads. That would be my first stop.
Down the hall is the elevator to the second floor, seriously, just two floors but still an elevator. This has a plus. If we hole up on the second floor, we could send out explorers and the elevator would serve us well. While the people in the elevator might get hosed, it would be simpler to prevent zombie expansion. Only so many zombies can fit in it, so only so many could possibly come back up with it. Yeah?
The best part, upstairs is a freakin doctor's office. Granted, they are otolaryngologists, but they gotta have more than just a first aid kit. So, we could hang out upstairs, eating pasta, using medical supplies to heal any damage, and use the elevator for excursions. The basics are down. This place is more secure than I thought. The best part is this though...
We are right across the street from the capital. I imagine this would be one of the first places the National Guard was sent to secure, so we wouldn't even have to hole up for long. If the Nat'l Guard could deal with zombies that is.
Alright, so my job sucks and we do a lot to avoid depression from boredom. But hey, planning for a zombie apocalypse is one of the most interesting things one can do. It doesn't take much and it allows you to be creative. I suggest everyone try it, especially if you hate your job as much as I do. It's also a little more lighthearted than some of the crap I worry about, like Roma children being slowly killed by lead poisoning in Kosovo, or the like.
1 comment:
Teeeemmmmpp saves the daaaaayyy lolz ;). Seriously, the zombocalypse is upon us...I can feel it coming closer and closer with every extra minute I stay at work after 5 GAHHHH!!!
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